Do You Believe in Magic?

C'mon, I know you are singing along and just can't remember the next line. It's okay though...I can't either. The Chicago public library (CPL) has a lot going for it. Of course it has some downsides too...what organization doesn't. However, every once in a while they hit the jackpot. For example, CPL offers free passes to over a dozen of the most popular, and some you may have not heard of, museums in Chicago. That means you don't have to shell out some insane amount for parking in addition to an entrance fee. Even better is ...

The rest of this post can be found HERE and click here for more info on this magician.

the Mommy Ballet

I'm not going to even list an excuse as to why I haven't posted in so long. I'm just going to go with the fact that I post when I can and when time and creativity align. I'm not sure if it's PMS or the parenting world of guilt that are attacking me all at once. I'm sure it's all of the above. I feel like I'm disconnected. From myself, my social life and most of all...my sweet boys. How is it possible that I can work and be a good ENOUGH mother, wife, self? It's an internal battle I have constantly. I feel like their childhood is slipping away. How do I hang on to more of their sweet innocent yumminess? How do I make sure I'm preparing them for adulthood, self assuredness and the big world? How does anyone do it?

Last night I was concentrating on focusing only on them. It felt so good. We had a great evening of playdough and made our own animal train with the noises. At bedtime, they both got into their PJs and washed up and then I created the Mommy Ballet. I picked them each up independently and danced with them the way one dances when noone is looking and sang and spun and got on my tipitoes as well as a few dips and kisses. It sure made up for a crappy day and I think we all slept with smiles. My oldest felt the need to conduct a marriage ceremony for my husband and me. It was very cute and then he wanted us to do the "married dance". How precious. I have to remember this feeling so that I can remind myself that I'm not the worst mother.

Dear Mommy

My weekend involved some a lot of cleaning. Too much I guess because my favorite kindergartener let me know with the use of his wonderful new skills.Dear Mommy, Have fun doing cleaning up the house, I (heart) you. -JK, age 5

Summer Silliness

This is the time of year when we often reflect on "What I did for my Summer Vacation". At first, I cringed at the thought that I didn't have anything exciting to report. However, with two kids, how is that ever possible. I've done a lot but my kids made me laugh a lot too. My oldest has come up with some real doozies in recent months.

1. Wheat should not be confused with Weed
VS
While on vacation in Colorado we went hiking. While on our nature walk, my oldest pulled a long piece of wheat from the ground and played with it. He pretended he was a cowboy and put it in his mouth, then it magically turned to a sword and a host of other imagination filled objects. At the end of the hike we headed back to the car and along the way came to a street crossing. If you know 5 year olds, then you know how important it is to them to press the elevator button, the crosswalk button and of course YOUR buttons. So, true to form, he pressed the crosswalk button. In doing so, he dropped his stem of wheat. This crosswalk is also a busy bus stop. Many locals and tourists were waiting for the bus to town. It was early and there was a strange hush while we waited. a moment later, I hear my oldest, quite clearly, say, "Mom, I dropped my Weed". All of us were hysterical. Perhaps the setting of a carefree mountain town made this a more comical moment but regardless, it was a great way to start the day.

2. TRAPPED My oldest found a love for the Backyardigans this summer. I have to say, it's a pretty good show. Even I don't mind having to succumb to it at the repeat frequency of a 5 year old. One of his favorite episodes was about being a detective and a spy. They referred to booby traps and spy gear. He was in heaven. A few days later, he was playing with a balloon. I saw he was putting them up his shirt where they found a home in his chest region. I chose to let him play and not really say anything about it's chosen location.

Just then, he came up with such a brilliant & hysterical comment that I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything at the time. If I were, it would have had no choice but to exit my nose.
He said, "Mommy, look, a booby trap" How clever is that?


3. Lake Michigan There is no doubt that 5 year olds are smart. The other day, we were driving along Lake Michigan and my oldest was inquiring on how the lake gets "full". I made the mistake of getting too technical and tried to discuss evaporation etc. I backed off and discussed that Mother Nature (she) helped to fill the lake with rain. However, he was way more literal. He decided that Mother Nature put 169* buckets of rain into the lake. He was quiet, deep in thought for a moment. Then he said, "Mommy, how does She know when to stop filling the lake? How come it doesn't overflow?" I was speechless. What am I going to do when this child starts having homework?

*169 has been a theme this summer too. It seems to be the BIGGEST number that my oldest can equate to things...all things.

4. Navy Pier I have to say that, in general, Navy Pier is not my first choice of where to spend time. That said, some of my favorite moments this summer have been at "the Pier". BlogHer goes without saying as well as the fireworks that followed. We also enjoyed an impromptu evening with friends on the Ferris Wheel and then dinner at Riva's. Another day we went to see Cirque Shanghai An Amazing show that really does amaze. My oldest and DH enjoyed an afternoon on the Sea Dog. We visited the Children's Museum and even escaped running up a bill at Build a Bear. I haven't cringed about the cost of parking as we've really enjoyed ourselves during each visit. Who would have thought?

We still have one more official day of Summer vacation. I know it won't be at the Pier, however, kite flying is sure to add some stories to our repertoire.

How was YOUR Summer?

"muff " IN

My son and I were enjoying some together time. Just the two of us. It was nice to focus just on him and he on me without other distractions interfereing. We stopped at Caribou for a muffin and some water. Time was tight, for a change, and I made an exception and allowed us to enjoy our muffins in the car on the way to our next errand. When we arrived at the next location we chatted a minute before exiting the car. I said something like, "I sure love the tops of the muffins". He agreed and thought it was funny that I actually had a name for this portion of the muffin....Muffies. We didn't really talk about it any more.

A few days later he was enjoying yet another muffin with my Mom. He went into much detail with her discussing the fact that Mom likes the Muff- not the -IN. Get it... Muff - IN(referring to the lower portion still in the wrapper) It sort of loses it's simplicity and charm when I start writing and explaining the whole thing here. It was a fun moment none the less. Kids really do say the darndest things. Actually, now that I think about it. Moms tend to photograph the darndest things. Who would have thought I'd setup and take a picture of a half eaten muffin, only to write about it later.

Waking up to M*O*M

My youngest (20 months) has about 4 or 5 words that perhaps only I recognize. We had an awful time with him and painful poops for almost his entire life. For the first year plus a few months he would wake in the morning, and from his naps, screaming in pain from these dreadful poops. We finally got it under control and lately he has been babbling in the morning instead of screaming. It is fun to listen to him on the monitor. We certainly don't miss, what we donned, "the G-d forbid I'm on Fire" scream...nor does he.

Well, this morning I got the treat of all treats. He woke up gently and was happily playing. Then he broke into a little sing songy... "Momma" (with a touch of come and get me in his voice) He was checking out the cause and effect a little while enjoying the independence and comfort of hanging out in his crib for a bit in the morning. He discovered how to start his John Lennon music mobile as well as experimenting with some fun with the crib mirror. I thoroughly enjoyed his peaceful play and of course I couldn't wait to go and get him and change the O so poop plentiful diaper I'm greeted with each morn.

Joy O Joy....NO SCREAMING. I'll take this wake up call any day.

Happy 5th Birthday

My Dear Sweet First Child....
I can't believe you are 5 years old. I don't know why 5 is such a big deal. Somehow it just is. So much has happened in this quick time frame. I'm celebrating too. YOU made me a Mom 5 years ago. What a special gift that was, and continues to be. I like to think I have taught you many things. You have taught me too. Although I have taught you how to walk, rationalize, question and more, you have taught me that my heart can get even bigger. You continue to amaze me with the questions you think up and the sweetness you have in you towards me, your Dad, your little brother. You have shown such compassion towards intangible concepts too like mother nature, infinity, G-d, love, heaven, death just to name a few. I was lying in bed last night trying to figure out where 5 years have gone. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital and trying to figure out how to change your diaper without you peeing on us. I wonder how many diapers I've changed in these past years.

Although I sometimes feel extremely taxed by you and your brother, I can't imagine wanting it any other way. You see, being a Mommy makes me want to make you and your brother feel safe and feel like you are getting what you need in any given moment. I know that sounds like a tall order and believe me...it is. Sometimes I think you need to be more independent and that is the hardest need for me to fulfill. I want you to still be my first little baby and yet I want you to be sufficient and continue to trust what daring moves you can trust yourself to do safely. Lately those have been all connected to your new bicycle. I love watching how rugged you feel on your new bike. The training wheels have given you a sense of security that I sometimes wonder if I have missed in instilling in you. You like to show me how you can ride while standing up and sometimes while you ride you like to take your hands off the handle bars for a quick second. I'm certainly not ready for your training wheels to come off anytime soon. You also love to jump. Nana & Papa gave you a mini trampoline for your birthday. You make up all different jumps that include straight legs, spinning around, closing your eyes, arms up and sometimes you like to put all of them together. It is always so nice when you give your brother a turn. You gently hold his hand so that he can get down safely.

I'm a worrier... I worry that I'm not spending enough time with you. Is there even such a thing? Is it ever possible to spend enough time with you AND enough time with your brother? How do Moms of many more multiple children do it all? Last night, while I was thinking about you and how you've grown, I was trying to come up with ways for us to be together and play. PLAY...not my strong suit. I don't know why that is so difficult for me. My goal for now is to focus on letting you teach me about how to play. No agendas, not too much framework...just relaxed interaction. Somehow I was thinking that it needed to involve getting dirty in the back yard digging up worms or something. See, I feel like I need to map it out. I'm going to work very hard at not working so hard. I want to spend this summer with you, when you are not at camp, and do carefree things. Wouldn't it be fun to visit the beach, try gardening, make bubbles, swim, make/eat Popsicles, have a lemonade stand and throw water balloons? Those all sound like such fun and the makings of wonderful memories to add to those we've already collected.

You are getting bigger, taller and wiser. You can count to 100. You can count to 20 in Spanish and 10 in Hebrew. You are starting to read and spell. You make the most wonderful cards and you recently learned how to cut a heart out of a folded piece of paper. The wonderment of that was priceless. You showed me at least 7 just at breakfast alone and were very happy to announce that the leftover paper made a beautiful frame for another project. You love to fold. You told me the other day, when you were folding a towel, that, "When I grow up I can work in a store and fold clothes and things for the customer people." You are so delicious I can't stand it. You love to sing. We make up songs and you like to sing in your Jacob Made Up Language. The best part is when you try to teach me these songs. You love to dance too. I love it when I put on the music and we all dance together.

You seemed to have fallen in Love this year. A wonderful girl.."B". I think it's funny that you were infatuated with that letter a few years back. You often tell me that you are going to marry her and that she is "Your Love". You are disappointed when you can not sit next to her and are always eager to remind me that your wedding will be at 7:30. She is a wonderful girl and part of an awesome family...I'm so happy that you are happy but perhaps you could put marriage on the back burner for now.

As for a future profession, you've had lots of top pics...Never the traditional fireman, cowboy, policeman etc. that I normally associate with little boys. Sometimes you mention wanting to be a garbage man so that you can ride while standing on the back of the truck. Sometimes you want to be a "payer" (cashier) so that you can press all those buttons. However, you really give me run for my money when it comes to negotiating. Daddy and I often say that you will be a lawyer when you grow up. You always see a new angle to a situation and I hope that will serve you well one day. Right now, it's very exhausting. : )

We drive by a large police station on our way to school. You always have many questions regarding this facility. You constantly ask why they have a truck police car and when I ask you what you think they use it for, your most recent comment was, "Maybe a bunch of police people go to a play together at a theater". I just about fell out of the car. First, I have to commend you on always saying "people". Rarely do you say policeMAN or WOMAN. I find this very interesting. But the fact that you picked a play in a theater was so advanced. I love this creative thinking of yours.

Daddy is coaching you in TBall this year. You are a New York Yankee. It is so nice to see you guys have so much fun. He bought each of you a new mitt and a bunch of baseballs. Everyone comments on what a great swing you have. Although you say you are bored in the outfield...Daddy says that you guys are working on grounders and last week you said you had fun out there.

All in all I think you are generally a happy kid with a lot going on his head. You are always thinking, analyzing and measuring a situation. You are usually kind to your brother and I LOVE to watch you teach him new things and see how excited you get when he does something for the first time. You have a big heart and I love to see you grow, learn explore and teach. I love you so much from here to "affinity" (cuz you are just too cute when you can't say INfinity)

Happy Birthday my sweet first born.
Love,
Mom

Wisdom of an ALMOST 5 year old

While driving home from school yesterday my son and I watched the biggest snowflakes flit and fall to the ground. We were mesmerized and silent. He broke this moment of quiet with the most fascinating theory.

Boy: Mom, could you please press the button that takes us up to the top of the trees.

Me: What button honey?

Boy: Y'know, the button that makes the car go up to the tippy top of the trees. So that I can talk to G-d.

Me: (thoroughly eager to see where this goes) Sure, I think that button is right over.....here. (I hesitate and wonder if the hazard or the defrost are more the more appropriate button then I ask what he will do when he talks to G-d)

Boy: I want to ask him to ask Mother Nature to turn off the snow so we can see a little better.

Me: Ahh, gotcha. (totally amazed that I've helped to create such a wonderful sense of imagination and intrigue)

That is one powerful button. This must be an upgrade on the minivan I wasn't aware of...It certainly makes it seem well worth the pricetag we paid.